Picture a bell curve. It’s a continuum with Forcing on one end and Avoiding on the other. In the middle is the sweet spot. It’s not a compromise of forcing and avoiding, but a different entity altogether.
If I’m in an improv scene and i’m trying to force one story into being, and my scene partner is attempting to force another scene, it does not work. (Actually it can get quite ugly.)
Alternatively, if we avoid stepping into the scene because we are thinking, “What if it doesn’t turn out like I want it to,” then the scene can be stagnant because you are missing ripe opportunities to show up.
This is true in life as well. When we force something into being – a relationship, a project, anything really – it may seem to be working out in the short term, but often – due to the forcing – you are pretending that things are ripe when they really are not.
And when we avoid things in life, for instance a crucial conversation* at work or your personal life, things fester. And in the short term things seem okay, but they are not and the longer it festers the harder it is to get out of avoidance. Continue reading “the sweet spot”